I am a broken toaster.

Me in 2010... unbelievably uncomfortable.

You know that feeling you get when you correct something which has been bugging you for a very long time, and then you say to yourself, "Why the hell didn't I do that earlier? It's so much better now!" -- that is a great feeling.  It can come from something tiny - like replacing an appliance which has not worked for a year, and all of a sudden you have a new one.

You think to yourself, "I feel a bit foolish for waiting this long to correct that."

I found a picture of myself from 2006 yesterday while digging around in some old files. I'll save it for later, but it I believe it shows me at my heaviest.  I don't know a scale number, but you can really see it in that picture.  I'm frankly too embarassed by it to put it here at the moment.

I dug up a journal I started writing in January 2010 when Joanne and I first went to the gym.  Because of that, I know that I weighed 340lb. at that time.  That was 65.5lb ago for me at this point.  It's a little incredible to think about, for me.  I sat and looked at that pic I found and I was embarrassed by it.  A little ashamed. 

Then I moved past all of that, and I decided I have about that much more to lose, still, too - and this showed me it can happen.  If I lost 65+ pounds, I can certainly lose another.

I think it is only when we falter that we get to discover our ability to self-correct.

Maybe you have never been seriously overweight, but it brings with it a whole host of personal issues that you deal with on a daily basis.  Just like you get used to a toaster which doesn't quite work right, but you don't bother replacing it for years, you can get used to living in a body that isn't working properly and you adapt to the inconveniences, discomforts, and embarrassment it brings.  When you finally take action and move to repair it - you definitely say to yourself, "Why.. why... why... didn't I just do this a long time ago!"

Table.. digging in.. must.. smile.. rrrrrr..

If you're reading this and you've never been seriously overweight, you might not know that larger people are constantly dealing with some of this stuff.  And, if you have been there - I bet you will be nodding your head along some of what I am about to illustrate.

Here are just a few of the things which you deal with in day to day life as an overweight individual.  By no means is this a complete list, just off the top of my head.

1. Clothing is something you battle. Constantly:

• You wear big clothes - but buy them even bigger than you need, because you think it can help hide your shape and they are more comfortable.
• Shirts ride up. Shirts with buttons near the collar come open, have to be redone all day.
• When you do tuck a shirt in, it comes untucked.  All the time. You tuck it in almost every time you stand up.
• Pants don't fit - so, you wear them fastened under the belly, not at the waist. Legs are too big or long thanks to that. You're constantly pulling them up.
• Belts are uncomfortable. They dig into you, especially buckles when you sit.
• Can't shop at normal stores.  So, clothing can get spendy, and is rather limited.  Basically, your clothing is something you struggle with every day.

2. Seating was not built for you.

• Chairs with arms on them pinch your hips and sides.
• Booths at restaurants, especially with immobile tables, are too small.
• Riding on a bus or plane is uncomfortable.  On a plane, I had to ask for seat belt extenders.
• Going someplace like a sports stadium, good luck fitting in seats. Or concert halls. Etc.
• Even if you get comfortable at first.. often, just sitting  for a long period is uncomfortable.

 3. Difficult to sleep - for me anyway. I would lay on back, and feel weight on lungs. So I'd sleep on my side, and fidget a lot. It was just tough to get and stay comfortable.

4. Uncomfortable in public - for example at movie theaters.  The seats would be too narrow or small.  I'd sit next to strangers and constantly be aware of my size, and worry that I was brushing against them.  Moving through smaller spaces like between cars parked in a lot is tougher, etc.

 5. Driving and riding in cars - some more than others.. as a tall guy anyway it is a challenge. As a chubby tall guy, it can be downright uncomfortable.. long car or bus trips are agonizing.

I won't go on, because there are just too many examples.  I don't think it is too dramatic to say that being very overweight is very like being in a small personal hell most of the time.

  

So... if replacing a broken toaster makes you feel like you should have taken action sooner - it's nothing compared to repairing yourself.  I've been on a journey for nearly 2 years to try to lose weight, but only really found my true focus for it a couple of months ago.  In just that short amount of time, I feel immeasurably better, more confident, and less embarrassed by myself.

If you are like me, and you know you have a weight issue but don't think you can do something about it, or you 'plan' to do something about it later.. just get going. Stop making excuses. Approach it with the knowledge that you have to change your lifestyle - but the reward will be an end to everything I just mentioned above, and a renewed sense of self purpose and confidence.

Yeah, it's going to suck, and be incredibly hard to stick to a changed food plan, and exercise.  But that is just what ANY addict goes through when going cold turkey.  Here, I was addicted to bad food, overeating, sitting around and being lazy.  When I finallywanted a change bad enough I made it and, wow -- I feel awesome, and better every day.

Makes me want to tell everyone...

Fix the damned toaster! ;)