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| I kind of miss you, but, stay away. |
I knew it was going to happen at some point, I'm only human. With that in mind, I'd "pre-planned" a few cheats. Specifically, my anniversary (already done, and only minor) - and then Halloween, and birthday for Dawn, and myself.
This week I had a couple of cupcakes, dinner which involved cheese and bread (still on the 'no' list in this phase of Dukan) - and a couple pieces of Halloween candy. I also had a little peanut butter on a slice of toast yesterday afternoon just to go, 'Whee, I did this.'
I guess pre-planning to cheat could be called something else - namely, testing yourself. You could also call it self-sabotage and not be wrong. I wanted to know if my willpower was better, so, we'll see after this week.
My reward for breaking the food plan this week a few times has been no weight loss all week, and I put a pound back on. That's not the end of the world but it made me feel very irritated. I consider that a good thing. ;)
Basically, I have something going on here and what it boils down to is a combination of three things.
1. I'm getting a little bored of my regiment of the same/similar foods lately. I need to find some new stuff to cook.
2. My weight loss has slowed down. Since it slowed, I have caught myself thinking, "Well that's it, it's gonna just slow more and at some point stop. Then probably go back up." Which is so not true, of course, if I keep working on it.
3. I'm really feeling the huge journey remaining from my weight now down to the goal. I think part of this comes from hearing other people I know making all sorts of plans to do things I am not ready for yet. Picturing myself doing them is fun, but I have a lot of work to do.
It is a cliche to say it but, this sort of personal change is a marathon, not a sprint. I am past the 'easy' part of it now and into the long, dedicated remainder of the marathon and it is a bit tough. Fortunately I have quite a bit of support from people that I know and that is awesome.
Anyway, just kind of rambling there.
Tomorrow we have a bowling shindig for Dawn's birthday, and not much up Sunday. It'll give me a chance to be active and on Sunday, I'm planning to get in some extra exercise, see if I can't atone for the food evils of the week a little bit.
And now, a picture:
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| No more cheating... or it's time for the alligators with guns. |
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ReplyDeleteIt's awesome that you can be rational about the cheating and not punish yourself too much. Just be careful, keep that drive\flame\fighting spirit alive. Sometime you have to dislike yourself a little to blow on the flame in your heart.
ReplyDeleteI grew up in a physically competitive household with sports. I was always internalizing when I screwed up and telling myself that I would catch\hit\run\score better next time. Sometimes pain and anger can be good fuel, just make sure YOU know what YOU'RE using THEM for. Don't let them run around inside you all willy nilly(not a word?). Make sure you are in the driver's seat of the Painmobile and they are tied up in the back seat reminding you of why you're driving.
I have been cheating as well. I have been sick this past week so I have not been running but I have been going to work so it feels like cheating.
TL;DR- Mark I think you are inspiring keep up the great work!
Thanks, Zach. You're spot on there too - when you are used to being overweight, the emotional baggage is there too and I fight it. Just ask Dawn, I berate myself over it all the time. I called this blog Mark vs. Mark for a reason - no worries I am still in it to win it! :)
ReplyDeleteAlso - sickness is a valid excuse, dude. Just get back to it when you can!